


Futuristic Mermaids and Other Model Behavior

by ferretbaby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Horrible Codename, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-12
Updated: 2011-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:09:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferretbaby/pseuds/ferretbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A local photographer puts up a picture of Derek, Jackson, and Scott half naked on a billboard by the school for an ad. The 3 teens are instantly thrust into celebrity status with their peers. Too bad no one asked Derek, because he's pissed, and he'd do something about it if he could get a break from the chicks stalking him. So are Stiles, Lydia, Allison, and Danny, who have put up enough with Scott and Jackson's  annoying attitude. Don't worry, they get revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Futuristic Mermaids and Other Model Behavior

****

Stiles took one step out of the car and busted out laughing.

“Oh no,” Scott moaned, staring godsmacked at the billboard across the quad, where 3 familiar shirtless teens posed for an advertisement of a local photographer.

“Are you kidding me, this is hilarious!” Stiles was pretty sure his face was going to split in half from smiling so big.

“This is horrible. I thought they were only going to display that picture on the store wall, not in public where everyone can see.” Scott glanced around in abject humiliation. Other students walking to home room were pointing at him, some whispering and staring at him like they’d never seen him before. Stiles, of course, was taking pictures with his phone.

“Just wait until Mr. Sour-wolf sees this.” Stiles giggled, actually _giggled_ , with glee. “That picture makes him look like a creeper. A hot creeper, but a creeper none the less.”

Scott swallowed the lump in his throat. Derek was going to kill them. Stupid Lydia asking Allison to join her to get some professional photos done for senior year by the quad. Then Jackson and him walking by after practice had heckled them until Derek stopped by to pick the two betas up for werewolf practice. He swears he has no idea how it happened but one minute the three males had been leaning against the fence laughing at the silly poses the girls had been doing and the next they were half-naked and the camera had been turned on them.

Wow, that sounded vaguely pornographic. Scott stopped that line of thought before it went too far.

In all seriousness though, it wasn’t a bad picture. Just a couple of jocks and, well, Derek posing like it was some summer ad you’d find in a magazine for a clothing line. In fact he would go so far as to say they were pretty tasteful.

Scott’s phone started chiming. Glancing at it he saw it was a text from Derek. He pocketed it without looking at the message. Derek only texted him to give him death threats anyways.

Stiles was giggling like a nutter, fingers flying over the keypad of his phone.

“Allison says she’s impressed. She never figured she’d be dating a local celebrity.”

Scott glared, swiping Stiles’ phone away and running across the school parking lot. “Yeah, well, wait until your mancrush finds out you called him a creeper.”

Stiles squawked, shoulder his backpack and chasing after his friend.

“Don’t be jealous baby,” Stiles chased after him. “You’ll always be my number one boo!”

Laughing, Scott tossed the phone back. Stiles caught it easily and slipped it in his bag as they entered the school hallway, heading towards their lockers.

“How pissed do you think Lydia is that they put us up there and not her?” Scott wondered aloud.

Stiles laughed, “Oh man, I can’t even imagine.”

***

“I’m going to kill the next person who asks me if I’m dating Jackson.” Lydia slammed her lunch tray down besides Allison and Stiles, shocking the two teenagers.

“Hmm?” Allison tried to be sympathetic but she too had been asked a similar question all day by her classmates.

Stiles grinned around a mouthful of fries.

Lydia growled, tearing open her carrot sticks and jamming them into her salad dressing violently. Stiles watched in horror as the red-head savagely bit the end of the carrot off, something inside him-probably his manhood- shriveled up and died a little. “That stupid photo!” She snarled.

“Ah, The Photo.” Allison deadpanned, nodding her head in understanding.

“What? I think it’s funny.” Stiles shrugged.

Both girls glared at him.

“If you were dating…say, Derek.” Lydia sneered at him. It really wasn’t a big secret who Stiles had a crush on, except to the man in question. “And there was a half naked photo of him for all your peers to see. Would you be happy if everyone asked if you were still dating or if he was available?”

“Exactly.” Allison chimed in, crowding Stiles to the end of the bench. “Would you appreciate other women talking about how hot your boyfriend’s body is, or wondering if they could get him to take off his shirt for another picture?”

“Uh,” Stiles started to sweat. “Isn’t it sort of a compliment? To you?”

“Not if the next minute they make a comment that said boyfriend is too hot for his current girlfriend, and then making plans to steal him away right in front of you.” Allison grumbled.

Stiles didn’t know what to think of that. It was sort of an odd role reversal for Scott and Allison. When Allison had first started dating Scott, Scott had whined to him about other dudes making plans to hit on his girlfriend right in front of him.

“Wow, that’s so …weird.”

Lydia bit the end of another carrot off and Stiles cringed. “No, that is a disaster. Jackson’s been strutting around the campus like a peacock all day.”

“Scott keeps getting mobbed by groups of girls who want his picture.”

Stiles felt bad for not contributing to the bitch-fest. “Derek’s calling his lawyer to see if he could get them to take it down?”

Allison and Lydia instantly perked up. “Really?”

Stiles checked his phone messages just to be sure. “Yeah, something about a breach of contract or maybe a lack of contract? I dunno, but you know how he is.”

“At least one of those boys is being sane about this.” Allison smiled happily for the first time all day.

The three of them ate in silence for a few moments, just absorbing the situation they suddenly found themselves in.

“Where are Jackson and Scott anyways?” Stiles looked around wildly, already done with his lunch and thinking of the merits of stealing Lydia’s fruit cup. She didn’t eat it anyways, but the girl had a tendency to stab first and ask questions later.

“Over there,” Allison and Lydia said together, pointing to a mass of students just outside the lunchroom doors.  Scott and Jackson were leaning against each other and smiling, a group of girls and some guys taking photos of them with their cell phones.

***

To Stiles’ dismay, Derek was waiting out in the parking lot when he got out of class.

“What are you doing here, are you suicidal?” Stiles’ voice was slightly hysterical, but after the horror show that was watching Scott all day, he didn’t know if he could handle watching people try to flirt with Derek also.

Derek glared at him, glancing him over as if to check for injures. “No. I’m waiting for the two idiots, I’m taking them to see my lawyer about the billboard.”

Stiles leaned against Derek’s car, ignoring the whispers behind him that was starting up. “Look, I don’t think you understand the popularity of that photo right now. Unless you want to be mobbed by a pack of wild, hormonal girls you might want to scram.”

For a teeny second, Derek looked hurt before his expression was back to his usual sour self. “What?”

“Excuse me,” A girl nudged Stiles aside, jostling him against the car. “Is that you on the quad billboard?”

Derek glanced blandly at the pretty blond. “Your excused, now leave.”

The girl was resilient though, ignoring Derek’s ire and waving her friends over. “Oh my god, it is you! Can I get your number?”

Stiles balked.

“No.” Derek was full on glaring at the girl now. Not many people didn’t run peeing their pants at that look so this girl must have a superpower, because if anything it only made her more excited.

“Emily! O.M.G, she’s going to be so jealous if I get your number before she does!” The blond giggled, bouncing on her toes and thrusting her breast out. They bounced hypnotically with every step.

“What the hell.” Derek growled in anger, not distracted like Stiles was by boobage.

“Emily! Come here, you’ll never believe who I found!” The blonds’ friends rushed over in a stink of perfume and hairspray, crowding around the growling werewolf and pushing Stiles away.

Stiles almost tripped back onto the concrete, thankfully Danny caught him.

“You okay?” Danny looked at him in concern, helping Stiles find his balance.

“Huh? Uh, yeah.” Stiles glanced between the crowd of girls ganging up on Derek and his savior. “It’s just… frightening, how violent they are.” Stiles said in wonder. Derek actually looked to be losing over the group. His growls and glare having no affect on the teenagers. The guy was now looking around for an escape.

“Oh, your cousin Miguel?” Danny looked excited, straining on his toes to get a look at Derek over the cluster of girls. Stiles bit his lips in guilt. Maybe it was time to relieve the other teen of that particular lie before it came back to bite him in the ass? “Is he here to pick you up? That’s nice of him.”

“Not exactly,” Stiles answered. “He came to talk to Jackson and Scott about the billboard.”

Danny’s happy expression instantly turned into a frown.

“Yeah, well he’d have to get in line to talk to his royal highness.”

Stiles figured he was talking about Jackson. He put a sympathetic hand on the taller teens shoulder. He’d been regulated as Scott’s PR agent for most of the day also. The other too caught up in his new found popularity to hold a normal conversation with his friend.

“Oh, your cousin’s making a break for it.” Danny pointed out, laughing along with Stiles as they watched the alpha werewolf turn tail and run from a back of teenyboppers. Stiles felt that lead weight inside him settle back down, relaxing enough the tension left his shoulders.

“Think he’ll make it?” Stiles nudged Danny with an elbow.

“Doubt it.” Danny laughed.

***

“I can’t believe it! You know Elizabeth McClain, sat behind me in class for the last 4 years? Well she finally figured out who I am. She thought I was a new student!”

Stiles rolled his eyes. Scott paced around his bedroom while Stiles surfed his computer, trying to search covertly about ways to kill a werewolf so it wouldn’t be tracked back to you. For the last hour he’d had to listen to Scott expound of his wild tale of sudden popularity. He now knew why Lydia wanted to kill people.

“And Josey Parker, she asked me out!” Scott backtracked when Stiles arched an eyebrow at him. “Of course I turned her down, I have a girlfriend. A wonderful girlfriend, who’s nice, pretty, and completely perfect for me. Oh, did you know Brandi said I had a nice body. She didn’t know I even played sports, said she’d come to our next lacrosse game though to make up for it. She’s so nice.” 

Stiles mimed stabbing himself in the eye with a pen behind Scott’s back. He even preformed a tragic death unbeknownst to his rambling friend.

“A lot of people asked about Derek too. Wanted to know where he went to school, if we hung out. I was invited to 5 parties this weekend and I’m supposed to bring him along.”

“Derek will kill you.” Stiles said it like it was a fact. Mostly because it was.

Scott nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe if you asked him, he’d go.”

“Why exactly would _me_ asking him make it sound more tempting? I wasn’t exactly invited to this party, excuse me, _these_ parties.” Stiles twirled around in his computer chair to glare in exasperation at his best friend. Did he even know how insulting that sounded? Just because Stiles liked Derek, didn’t mean that Derek liked him enough to listen to him (if Stiles’ super secret spy network was correct, the older teen shouldn’t even know about his crush).

“Please, you could talk circles around Derek. He does things you say all the time just to get you to shut up.” Scott waved a hand at him.

Leave Scott to ignore the main problem of that sentence. “Again, I wasn’t invited. Why would I talk him into going if I couldn’t go?”

“Oh,” Scott stopped, blushed lightly. “Sorry, I forgot. You could always gate crash like always. Besides, we’re a package deal, you and I.”

“Seriously?” Stiles tried not to feel anymore insulted than he already was. As good as it was to hear that Scott considered them a ‘package deal’, the implications that Stiles had to invite himself to a party to go to it were rather offensive.

Scott paused, pulling out his phone. “You know what, I could just call them and ask. I have their numbers now.” Scott fiddled with his phone for a second. “Wow, I’ve never had so many contact people in my address book before.”

Stiles contemplated stabbing himself for real’s this time.

***

Stiles hadn’t expected Allison and Lydia to be waiting for him on his porch when he got home from school the next day.

“Hello?”

Lydia tapped her feet impatiently while Stiles unlocked his door.

“Come on, we have some things to discuss.”

Stiles glanced at Allison, her eyes were red-rimmed and cheeks tear stained. He hustled them into his kitchen where he quickly got them something to drink (root-beer: because while actually alcohol would be nice right now, his dad was a cop and would kill him). After getting himself a bottle, he slouched down on the counter next to the sniffling brunette.

“I’m guessing Scott was a douche?”

Lydia hissed. “An understatement.”

Stiles sighed forlornly. After another miserable day of dealing with Scott, and a few girls inquiring to him about Derek, he had just wanted to come home and pass out in a miserable ball of misery. Looked like that wasn’t happening.

“Not exactly surprised anymore,” he sighed.

Allison wiped her eyes, smearing makeup down her face. “He was just horrible. Said I was being jealous and envious that he had all these new friends. Then he started going on about how the shoe fits on the other foot now, and that I couldn’t stand the fact he was more popular than me.”

 Lydia drowned her drink like it was actual beer, slamming the empty bottle on the counter when she was done. All she said was, “Don’t even get me started on Jackson.”

The three teens wallowed in anger and despair.

“It’s all that dumb pictures fault.”

“If it helps, I have some paintball guns that we can use tonight if yall feel up to it?” Stiles said. He had thought about offering the idea to Derek, who was getting drastically desperate over the phone to get the picture taken down. Derek had mentioned that people were snooping around the old Hale mansion and he swore someone had followed him to his apartment from the gas station the other night. The werewolf sounding particularly paranoid as the day wore on. It would have been hilarious if it didn’t make Stiles so depressed.  

Allison shook herself out of her funk. “Count me in.”

“Me too.” Lydia smiled maliciously.

***

That night, three masked teens in black loaded their barrowed paintball guns with pink and yellow pellets and blasted the billboard.

“Hah, right in the kisser!”

“Shh,” Allison sniggered, her own gun aiming for her boyfriend’s chest. There was something very satisfactory about shooting an oversized picture of her man’s half-naked body.

Stiles wished he could get into this as much as the girls. Sadly, Derek was only his usual sour self so he couldn’t really work up the enthusiasm as well as they could. At most, Derek would probably appreciate him doing this for him.

“Stiles, did you just make a happy face over Derek’s crotch?”

“Codenames!” Stiles reminded them.

“Right, Sorry Cmd. Ricardo del Sexy.”

“Whatever, Agent Kitten-nipples.”

The three burst out laughing, peppering the sign with more paint.

***

Jackson was in hysterics.

“Can you believe it! How could someone do that?”

Their lunch table was full, way fuller then it usually was. Stiles found himself squashed between Danny and some girl he’d never met before. Where were all these pretty girls coming from anyways? It was like they had appeared out of the land of annoyingly-hot-women, just to fuck with his self esteem.

Said girl and girls pretty friends cooed at Jackson and Scott, who both pouted pathetically about their ruined sign all day.

“I don’t know, but I’m disappointed I wasn’t invited along.” Danny muttered, spooning his drippy mash potatoes. Stiles paused in eating his own lunch to eyeball him.

“What does it matter, they’re already fixing it.” Lydia said, elbowing another girl who tried to wiggle in between her and her boyfriend. Her good mood evaporating throughout the day when they noticed the sign crew cleaning up the mess.

 Stiles had been worried about Derek for most of the day. His phone had stayed suspiciously quiet. Had the man been attacked? Kidnapped by a pervert? A group of perverts doing depraved things to the older teens hot, manly body right this second while Stiles sat here oblivious to his friend’s pain?

He sent Derek another text just in case.

“How awesome! They finished!” A brunette squealed in excitement as they watched out the window as the crew finished. A perfectly identical sign over the painted one. Stiles kind of missed the happy face, he thought it gave the picture character.

“People can be so petty.” Scott condoned to the group of girls around him and Jackson like he was Jesus talking to his disciples. “They act so childishly just because someone getting more attention than them.”

Allison flushed in embarrassment, turning her head away from the group and pushing her food away. She suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Right, I totally agree.” Jackson intoned. Him and Scott had never gotten along so well until the picture came out. It was like they suddenly had something to relate to each other about, you know, instead of the hundred other things there were.

Danny rolled his eyes.

Lydia looked at Stiles. “Another team meeting tonight?”

Stiles nodded.

***

Derek crawled through his window late at night after the others had left. Danny promising to come up with a better idea instead of torching the thing like Lydia suggested.

The older teen looked haggard, his t-shirt ripped and hanging off his shoulders by a thread.

“The hell happened to you?” Stiles asked. Maybe he wasn’t that far off with the group of perverts?

Derek sat heavily down on his bed.

“They’re worse than hunters.” Derek’s voice sounded hollow.

“Are you…are you okay?”

Derek shook his head, grabbing Stiles’ wrist with lightning fast reflexes when the other teen tried to touch him.

“Worse. Than. Hunters.”

Stiles took a deep breath. “Right, I got that. Why haven’t you been answering my texts? I’ve been worried about you.”

“Lost my phone in the woods.”

Derek blinked up at Stiles in innocent persecution. His spine practically melted into butter at that look. Stiles was ready to dawn armor and fight for the guys honor.

“You’re safe now.” Stiles pet Derek’s hair. He was rather surprised the guy didn’t threaten to tear his throat out. Must be more traumatized than he thought. “You need something to drink? Eat? A new shirt?”

Derek narrowed his eyes at him. “Is this another trick? Is that boy around?”

“Who, Danny? No he already left. I’m just asking because your shirt is kind of falling apart. You look like you’ve been attacked by a pack of velociraptors.”

Humming suspiciously, Derek sniffed the air, his hand still tightly holding onto Stiles’ other wrist.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Not that striped one though.”

Stiles took a moment to detach Derek’s hand from his wrist before shuffling over to his dresser. How sad did it make him that his last shopping trip he’d bought a few t-shirts larger than usual in the hope that Derek would need to barrow them? Or did that just make him insightful? Digging around he found a red one and tossed it over.

Derek sniffed it. “Is this new?”

“Uh, define new?” Stiles looked up at the ceiling.

Derek narrowed his eyes, tossing his torn shirt over towards the trash. “Never worn before.”

“Oh in that case…maybe? I can’t remember, I’ve had it forever.” He shrugged trying to act all nonchalant. Scott said he had gotten better at lying to a werewolf, so maybe he could get away with it.

Slipping the shirt on, Derek still looked suspicious. Stiles was surprised by how attractive color looked on the werewolf. Maybe he should raid the older teen’s apartment and replace all his black and grey shirts with something on the color spectrum? Might be a mission for him and the agents to do after this whole billboard thing was dealt with.

“There, you look a hundred times better.” Stiles cooed at him. There was something about Derek that just made him want to take care of the guy. He looked so pitiful right now. “You hungry? I have some cold spaghetti I can warm up it up for you.”

Derek slumped, his whole body relaxing. “Thanks Stiles, that would be nice.”

Stiles smiled, “No problem big guy!” His dad had already gone to bed so he wouldn’t have anyone disturb him while he got the food. He had a feeling though that someone would be staying the night.

After getting the food and something to drink for the werewolf, Stiles sat and watched him eat. Eyes wide at Derek sucked the food down faster than he could blink.

“That kind of day I take it?”

Derek swallowed before answering. “You can’t even imagine. What is wrong with this town? Getting crazy over a little picture like that.”

Stiles shrugged. He too was kind of weirded out by the sudden fuss over the picture. It’s not like the 3 males didn’t walk around practically naked on a daily bases. Seriously, do people not have eyes?

“Yall look hot, I’ll admit that. But nothing I haven’t seen already.”

Derek stopped eating and eyed him.

Stiles threw his hands up. “Hey, your virtues safe with me. Just making an observation.”

Grunting, Derek finished eating, setting the dishes aside and smoothing down the new shirt. Stiles watched those hands hungrily. This was so unfair, having your mancrush wearing the clothes you bought him and offering him a place to sleep, but promising not to try anything about it. He was such an idiot.

“You don’t mind me staying over tonight?” Derek asked, looking anywhere but at Stiles. He looked sort of shy? Nah, Stiles was probably only imagining things.

“Of course not, me casa su casa.” Stiles waved his hands around. The pervert inside him was rubbing its palms together and chuckling evilly.

“Thanks. I just don’t want to go home tonight incase those stalkers followed me home again.” Seriously, Stiles was starting to think this picture thing wasn’t a bad deal. Especially if it made Derek all appreciative of Stiles’ friendship.

See, Stiles saw the silver lining to every bad situation. He was a glass half full kind of guy.

Patting Derek on the shoulder, Stiles attempted not to smile like a maniac. “If it makes you feel better, the girls and I tried to destroy it last night.”

Derek perked up. “What happened?”

“We paintballed it, but this morning they just replaced it.”

“Oh,” Derek slumped. Stiles tried not to freak out like a 12-year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert when the older teen leaned towards him. “I need to find my phone, to get in touch with my lawyer.”

“I’ll help you with that tomorrow.” Stiles promised.

“You know…” Derek looked him over and Stiles flushed. “We can go out there tonight and tear it down.”

Yeah like Stiles had a choice between sneaking out with Derek in the dead of night or getting ready for bed. It wasn’t even a close call.

“Let me get my ski mask.”

***

“Stiles…”

“Codenames!”

Derek ignored him. “Why is there a smiley face on my crotch?”

“You know, I have no idea.”

***

Stiles headed Scott off before he could complain about the ripped photograph.

“Derek did it.”

Scott sputtered, looking miserably at the torn billboard.

  
“Oh nice.” Danny threw an arm around his shoulder as they headed into school. Stiles returned the taller teen’s fist bump. “You can thank Sgt Miguel hot-pants for the idea.”

Danny’s eyes twinkled like how Stiles imagined Dumbledore’s would. “Seriously, is your cousin seeing anyone?”

Scott laughed. Like full on rolling on the floor laughing.

“What the hell man?” Stiles asked his best friend. Or former best friend the way he and Jackson had been strutting around lately. Maybe Danny was available for the position. Should be put an ad in the newspaper just in case?

“He thinks Derek’s your cousin?”

Both Danny and Stiles blushed, moving away from each other self consciously.

“So, he’s not your cousin?” Danny asked Stiles, confusion all over his face.

“Uh, no. Not really. Miguel isn’t his real name either, it’s Derek.” Stiles felt bad. Really bad. Danny was such a nice guy, and lying to him was like lying to that little old lady that gave you brownies every Sunday at church. He was probably going to hell for this.

“Oh,” Danny chewed the inside of his cheek in thought. “Oh!” Revelation washed over him. “I get it. Your ‘cousin’.” Danny winked at him. Was that gay code for something? Was he being hit on? Maybe Danny really did find him attractive?

Scott only laughed harder.

“Wait, what?” Stiles asked them both naively.

“Just say yes Stiles.” Scott wheezed between breaths. “You wouldn’t be able to stand the competition.”

“It’s cool man. I get it.” Danny just smiled, nudging Stiles with his arm. “I totally don’t blame you. If you need any advice to seduce him, just ask me.”

Stiles was really confused now.

 Jackson came up behind Scott, looking worried and fretful. “Hey did you guys see--”

“Derek did it.” Stiles droned, slamming his locker closed.

“Oh,” Jackson only deflated more.

“Don’t worry Jackson, they already have a crew out there replacing it.” A cheerleader bounced forward out of hot-girl-land. Instantly cheering both Scott and Jackson up and making Stiles and Danny scowl.

“Are you kidding me?!”

***

“Guys I don’t think I’m coming to school tomorrow. If I have to put up with this for one more day, I really will commit homicide.” Lydia fell against Stiles’ jeep in defeat, pillowing her head in her arms.

Stiles didn’t blame her one bit. “I can misplace evidence if you do. Convince my dad that it was all Scott and Jackson fault.”

Lydia turned her head to stare at him from under her nest of hair. “Stiles…I love you.”

Danny laughed lightly, also exhausted like the rest of them. “Don’t even bother princess, he’s after his ‘cousin’.”

Lydia and Allison stared at Stiles in bewilderment.

Stiles just shook his head and shrugged. Not even Google had told him what Danny had been talking about. 

A group of girls walked past, giggling over their phones. Stiles could see it was a picture of Scott and Jackson lifting their shirts up like they were the Situation from Jersey Shore. He was embarrassed to say he knew these people.

“I’m moving to Canada.” Stiles swore. This town was crazy, that was the only explanation. Maybe Derek could come along with him? Didn’t they have gay marriage there? They could open up a flower shop and sell wolfsbane, live in relative anonymity and have fantastic sex.

Stiles swooned, drifting off into fantasy.

“You know, this wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t Scott or Jackson. Anyone else wouldn’t have let this all go to their head.” Danny said.

Allison nodded along. “Exactly.”

“Right, if they had used our picture for example, we could handle this.” Lydia put her hands on her hips. “But no, they used 3 shirtless guys. Two of which are immature assholes who don’t deserve our love and friendship.”

“Mmm,” Stiles fantasy was getting better. “Can you imagine if it was you two half naked up there with Derek instead?”

“Stiles, you’re a genius.” Lydia stated, grabbing Stiles and pushing him towards the driver’s side of his jeep.

“What?” Stiles blinked in confusion. Somehow he found himself in the driver’s seat with Lydia beside him and Allison and Danny in the back. Everyone looking anxious and excited. They must have understood what Lydia was thinking because Stiles had no clue.

Lydia tipped her chin up. “Drive. We have a photographer to see,” She commanded.

“O-kay.” Stiles pulled out and headed into town.

***

Derek was driving down the road with his pack (and Stiles) in the car, heading towards the mansion when he saw it. Swerving the car violently he pulled over before he could kill someone. Jumping out and slamming the door behind him to pace on the side of the road.

“What. The. Hell. Is. That?”

He stared at the new billboard sign. Four half-naked teens with Mardi Gras mask on.

“You like?” Stiles smile was lascivious from over the hood of his black car.

“Aw, they replaced our picture.” Jackson whined.

“I thought we’d still have a few days. Your lawyers sure do act fast Derek.” Scott squeezed out of the backseat with the blond, pouting like a child.

“I know those nipples.” Derek narrowed his eyes. “Fuck! Stiles, that’s you!”

Stiles smothered a laugh.

Jackson furrowed his eyebrows. “You can recognize Stiles by his nipples?”

“What are you wearing?” Scott asked bewildered, scratching his head.

Stiles preened under Derek’s heated stare. “That my friends, is a mankini.”

“No it’s not. Borat wore a mankini. You’re wearing what looks like a Speedo with a collar.”

“It’s called style you Neanderthal. You can thank Lydia for my impressive swimwear, she picked it out.”

Scott was blushing. “Allison looks great.” Eyeing the brunette in the picture who wore a sparkly 2-piece that made her look like a mermaid. Actually it was kind of a theme with the whole picture: futuristic mermaids (he didn’t get it, but the others reassured him that it would be great). Stiles was rather impressed with it in the end. Not only did they all look hot, but there was no way to be sure of their identity with the masks. The photographer had been on his knees begging them if he could exhibit it. Derek’s lawyers had almost bankrupted him.

Speaking of which, Derek was on the phone.

“Who are you calling?” Stiles asked while Jackson and Scott gapped at the photo. Jackson tried to be sly about taking a picture with his phone. Stiles didn’t want to ruin the surprise that they had all gotten individual pictures for themselves, to give to whomever they wanted. Lydia and Allison weren’t sure that the boys deserved it after their attitude all week.

Stiles had _plans_ for his own pictures.

Derek turned to scowl at Stiles. “My lawyer. I refuse to have you up there displayed like some sex object.”

Stiles jaw dropped. “Since when do you have any say about how I’m displayed?”

Derek growled at him, turning back around to grunt at whoever was on the other side of his phone. Jackson and Scott just shuffled nervously around, their wolves sensitive to the alpha’s mood. After a few minutes Derek cut off his phone call, tossing the phone back in the car.

“Okay, Stiles in the car. You two, change of plans, you get a free day.” Derek ordered, pointing at everyone in question.

“What? Why?” Stiles howled, why was he always stuck working while everyone one else got a free day.

Derek just stared at him, eyes flashing red until he looked away. “Because I said so.”

Scott looked ready to bolt, but Jackson had a death wish. He liked to toe the line where Derek’s commands were concerned, annoying the older teen and making everyone else worried that his head was about to be torn off. “How are we getting home?”

Derek snorted, “Don’t really care. Run home, hitchhike, steal a car. Just don’t bother Stiles and I for the rest of the day.” Derek slid gracefully into the car, reaching over the consol to yank Stiles back into his seat.  

Stiles flopped into the seat, flabbergasted.

“Close the door.” Derek commanded and Stiles did, not even thinking about it. Derek smiled, showing a lot of teeth. “Good. I think it’s time me and you had a talk.”

“About what?” Stiles squeaked. He wanted to curl up in a ball, Derek looked very predatory.

Derek pulled back out into the road and headed home, two teenagers left stranded behind them.

 “About just how much say I get about you being displayed like a sex object.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes. The only one you should be displayed for is me.” Derek growled out, looking Stiles up and down before looking back towards the road.

Licking his lips, Stiles practically purred. “Oh really? You know, I still have that outfit if you’re interested in a private show.”

The car swerved as Derek fought back for control.

“Stiles. Not while I’m driving. Save it for the bedroom.”

Leaning back into the warm cushions of the seat, Stiles tried not to seem too eager. “Sure thing boss. Just remember the faster we get there the faster we can make out.”

Derek slammed on the accelerator.   

***

Needless to say, Derek had a new photo album on his computer called ‘Stiles wank’, and the wallpaper to his phone and computer was a certain favorite photo of his with Stiles in a shower, wet with his clothes sticking to his skin.

No one else was really surprised. It seemed Stiles super secret ninja crush on Derek wasn’t really super secret to the man in question.

****

End

**Author's Note:**

> Stiles bathing suit: McQueen’s mankini- http://www.famode.com/news.php?id=239
> 
> The wallpaper one is the famous Dylan wet-photo of him in the school shower.
> 
> The others can be up to your imagination. =)
> 
>  
> 
> Huh, just found out that Colton's home town is the one I currently live in :Shertz, Tx - right outside San Antonio. I'm a few years older than him so I never went to High school with him, but it's very strange to live in a town where a character from your favorite tv show use to live (I have no clue if he still lives here. I told myself there should be boundries so I'm not even going to check it out). But still, interesting suff.


End file.
